Hen Party Etiquette: The Unwritten Rules Everyone Should Know in 2026

Hen parties can bring out strong opinions, surprising drama, and unexpected emotions. Understanding the unwritten rules helps everyone have a great time while avoiding awkward situations. Here's your comprehensive guide to navigating hen party etiquette in 2026.

Who Organises the Hen Party?

The maid of honour or chief bridesmaid traditionally takes the lead on organising, but it's perfectly acceptable to share responsibilities with other bridesmaids or close friends. The bride herself should not be organising her own hen party, though she can provide input on preferences, guest list, and dates to avoid.

If you're the organiser, don't shoulder everything yourself. Delegate tasks like booking accommodation, coordinating transport, managing the budget spreadsheet, or sorting decorations. Shared responsibility prevents burnout and makes planning more enjoyable.

Who Pays for What?

This is the number one source of hen party tension, so address it clearly from the start. Guests typically pay for their own costs including activities, accommodation, food, and drinks. The bride traditionally doesn't pay for her own activities, accommodation, or meals, though she may contribute toward extras like fancy cocktails or additional treatments at a spa day.

If the group is covering the bride, factor this into the per-person cost from the beginning. For a group of 10, each guest pays approximately 11% extra to cover the bride's share. Be transparent about this calculation so nobody feels surprised.

The organiser should not be expected to cover extra costs beyond their own participation. Creating a budget spreadsheet that tracks all expenses keeps everything transparent and prevents resentment.

Setting Budget Expectations

Discuss budget openly at the planning stage. Send an anonymous survey if needed to understand what the group can realistically afford. Not everyone has the same financial situation, especially if your group includes students, young mothers, or people in different life stages.

A typical UK hen party costs £150-300 per person for a day trip, or £400-800 for a weekend with accommodation. London and Edinburgh sit at the higher end, while Liverpool and Newcastle offer better value.

Present costs clearly with breakdowns. "Accommodation £80, cocktail making class £35, dinner £40, club entry £10, bride's contribution £20" gives guests clear understanding of where money goes and helps them decide whether they can commit.

Handling Budget Differences

Never pressure anyone to spend beyond their means. If someone can't afford the full weekend, offer alternatives like joining just for Saturday daytime, or arranging separate cheaper accommodation nearby. The celebration should unite people, not create financial stress or resentment.

Consider offering tiered options. Perhaps a group rental house for budget-conscious guests and a nearby hotel for those who prefer their own space and don't mind paying more. Some guests might join for afternoon tea but skip the expensive night out.

If the majority can afford the planned celebration but one or two people struggle, the group might discreetly chip in extra to cover those guests. Handle this tactfully and privately rather than making anyone feel like charity.

Guest List Politics

The bride should have final say on the guest list. Check with her before inviting anyone she might not expect, including work colleagues she's not close with, distant relatives, or friends she's lost touch with. Don't assume all female relatives should automatically be invited.

Consider whether certain family members like mothers, aunts, or grandmothers should attend specific parts. They might join for afternoon tea or a spa day but skip evening drinking games and nightclub dancing. Split-day celebrations can work brilliantly for mixed groups in elegant cities like Edinburgh or London.

It's absolutely fine to have a smaller, close-friends-only celebration rather than inviting everyone even vaguely connected to the wedding. Quality over quantity creates more memorable experiences. Activities like pottery painting or wine tasting are perfect for intimate groups.

Being a Good Guest

Reply Promptly - Organisers need numbers to book activities and accommodation. Reply to invitations within a week, even if just to say you need to check finances or work commitments. A late "actually I can't come" after bookings are made creates real problems.

Pay On Time - Transfer your share when requested without needing multiple chasers. Organisers shouldn't have to front money or chase payments repeatedly. Set up the bank transfer as soon as you receive the request.

Participate Enthusiastically - Even if activities aren't your personal preference, engage positively. The hen party isn't about you. If you hate cocktail making or think life drawing is embarrassing, keep it to yourself and embrace the experience for the bride's sake.

Don't Make It About You - Nobody cares about your diet, your drama with another guest, or your relationship problems. Park personal issues for the weekend and focus on celebrating the bride. Don't dominate conversations or attention.

Respect the Schedule - If the group needs to leave at 2pm, be ready at 2pm. Don't be the person making 15 others wait while you finish hair and makeup. Factor in your getting-ready time and set alarms.

Keeping Secrets and Boundaries

What happens at the hen party traditionally stays at the hen party, within reason. Don't share embarrassing stories or photos that might damage relationships or reputations. The groom doesn't need to know every detail, though obviously don't enable cheating or genuinely concerning behaviour.

If something serious happens like someone cheating or putting themselves in danger, use your judgment about when confidentiality should be broken. Generally though, silly drunk moments and embarrassing dancing stay private.

Photography and Social Media Etiquette

Ask Before Posting - Never post photos of others on social media without permission, especially unflattering shots or anything from late in the evening. Create a private WhatsApp or Google Photos album for sharing within the group.

Consider the Bride's Privacy - She may not want certain images online before the wedding. Grooms definitely don't need to see everything on Instagram. When in doubt, ask before posting anything from the hen party.

Be Mindful of Others - Some guests might not want to be on social media at all due to work situations, personal preferences, or relationship circumstances. Respect their wishes and crop them out of public posts if needed.

Tag Appropriately - Consider whether tagging the bride in a photo of her sprawled on the bathroom floor is a good idea. Future in-laws and employers might see it. Think before you tag.

Dealing With Difficult Situations

Drop-Outs - If someone needs to cancel, be gracious about it. Life happens. Sort out refunds fairly based on what can be recovered. Don't guilt-trip people who have legitimate reasons for not attending.

Inter-Group Drama - If tension exists between guests, address it privately before the hen party. Ask people to set differences aside for the weekend. Seat feuding guests apart and assign them to different activity teams.

The Bride's Behaviour - Some brides get extremely stressed or emotional in the lead-up to weddings. Cut her some slack if she's not herself. If she's genuinely being unreasonable, address it privately and gently.

Unexpected Costs - If unplanned expenses arise like taxis due to missed trains or buying rounds at a bar, discuss as a group how to handle them. Document everything and settle up fairly afterward.

Modern Etiquette Updates

Dietary Requirements - Check these upfront and accommodate them without fuss. Nobody should feel excluded because venues can't handle their vegetarian, vegan, or allergy requirements. Pick restaurants in destinations like Brighton or Manchester known for diverse options.

Non-Drinkers - Ensure activities work without alcohol. Spa days, afternoon tea, and escape rooms suit everyone regardless of drinking preferences. Don't pressure non-drinkers to explain themselves.

Pregnant Guests - Ensure they can participate comfortably with appropriate activities, comfortable seating, and suitable food options. Check that spa venues offer pregnancy-safe treatments.

Different Abilities - Consider accessibility requirements when booking venues and activities. Check for step-free access, disabled toilets, and whether venues can accommodate specific needs without anyone feeling excluded.